Calling all parents! Are you ready for a challenge that will make a huge difference in your relationship with your children? A challenge that will make your kids feel more important to you? A challenge that will be hard but worth it?
Ready for your challenge? Here we go: During the month of October, I will physically put down my phone when I talk to my children and look them in the eye. It’s the Eyes Up Phone Down Challenge.
Uh oh! Really? My phone! You’re telling me I have to physically take my phone out of my hand and place it somewhere and not pick it up until the conversation is over? What if someone texts me? What if I get an email? Are your hands getting clammy just thinking about it?
Think about for a minute how hard it seems for most of us to commit to putting our phones down and looking at our children when we have a conversation. Now let’s think about something else. How valuable will our child feel if we give them our undivided attention?
Real relationships take attention. Undivided attention. We believe any parent who chooses to adopt this challenge will see substantial improvement in their connection with their children. In research for her book “The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age,” psychologist Catherine Steiner-Adair interviewed 1,000 children between the ages of 4 and 18, asking them about their parents’ use of mobile devices. The language that came up over and over and over again, she says, was “sad, mad, angry and lonely.” One 4-year-old called his dad’s smartphone a “stupid phone.” Others recalled joyfully throwing their parent’s phone into the toilet, putting it in the oven or hiding it. There was one girl who said, “I feel like I’m just boring. I’m boring my dad because he will take any text, any call, anytime — even on the ski lift!”
A ”stupid phone.” I love that. Only from the mouth of babes, right?
But wait. There’s more. It’s not just the “Phone Down Challenge.” It’s the Eyes Up Phone Down Challenge. After you put your phone down, look your children in the eyes in your conversations. For your little guys, get down on their level.
See your child. Listen to your child. Be interested in your child. They really are amazing little people!
Ok, so what’s your choice? Are you in on the Eyes Up Phone Down Challenge? Are you going to commit to put your phone down – remember, physically down out of your hand – while you are talking to your children? A quick note: Once you do it for a while, see if they don’t choose to do it too. Wouldn’t that be cool?
One more note: Don’t turn this into a perfection challenge and beat yourself up if you don’t make it happen 100% of the time. Challenges are not about perfection. They are about improvement. If you forget, it’s ok. Your kids will probably remind you. And that’s ok too. Just make a joke about it and move on.
Once you implement your new resolution for a few weeks, we would love to hear from you. Send a note to [email protected] and let us know how it goes!
Take the Eyes Up Phone Down Challenge for the month of October and see your kids like you have never seen them before!
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