Pastor’s Place: Does this offend you?

Does this offend you? Those words are uttered by Jesus in John 6. Jesus wasn’t only speaking to those on the other side of a divisive issue. He wasn’t talking to his sworn enemies. He wasn’t going round by round with rival political party members.

Jesus was talking with his own followers. Those he spent the most time with and did the most life with. In that moment Jesus revealed a tendency of our hearts: We are easily offended. And offense leads to bitterness. And bitterness creates all kinds of destruction.

Hebrews 12:15 says, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

A bitter root is a dangerous thing. Offense, bitterness, and unforgiveness are all similar. They poison our hearts, our relationships, and ultimately seep into every area of our lives.

The verse says “see to it” meaning it’s on us to search our hearts for any roots of bitterness; any place we are holding onto offense. I often hear people say, “I am not offended, just hurt.” Here is the problem: the words “I’m hurt” are a socially acceptable cover for “I’m offended.” Hurt gains empathy. Offense gains ridicule.

So…it is easier to refer to offense or bitterness as “hurt, frustration, or even disappointment.” How do you know the difference? Well, how do you think about and interact with that person? Do you hate when their name is spoken? Would you dodge them in a Target aisle? It may be an offense. It may be bitterness. It’s worth killing the root, before your life produces the fruit.

You see the verse goes on to say, “cause trouble and defile many.” Many of us incorrectly believe that the bitterness we’ve been holding onto won’t affect those we love. It will. Offense is insidious. It will affect, and ultimately infect, everything.

So what can we do about it? First, just be honest – you may be carrying an offense. Second, choose to release it. For followers of Jesus, this requires processing with the person who has offended you (see Matthew 18). Third, understand that it is impossible that no offenses will come…but choose ahead of time they aren’t worth holding onto. Choose to release offense. A bitter root is never worth watering.