Crazy Cool Family: They are just little people

Here comes Christmas!

Have you ever tried to make Christmas amazing for seven kids? And now four sons-in-law, a new daughter-in-law, and six grandchildren? Ok, let’s also throw in extended family as well. You would be hard pressed to do a better job than my wife Suzanne has done for over three decades. Starting with one kid, going to seven, adding the spouses, and now the grandkids, she has consistently risen to the challenge of making Christmas special. You should see the spreadsheet it takes to keep track of it!

In this massive Christmas “project,” it would be easy for her to treat the kids as projects as well. Something to be “taken care of” like a to-do list. But the even more amazing thing is how she engages our kids, and now extended family, as we go through this busy season.

I think sometimes we forget that our children are human. We treat them more like a project that needs to be crossed off the list. Suzanne’s mom would say, “They are just little people.”

So true and a great reminder that just because they are small, and immature does not mean they should be treated as less than. They deserve to be treated with honor and respect.

Our little guys have feelings and emotions that we can damage. We think it’s silly how the three-year-old is reacting to us taking his toy away, but the hurt is very real to the little guy. We may make fun of our teenager who is “in love” because we know that it will not last. But to that teenager it is the most important thing in their lives. Even if we understand the big picture better, we still need to understand how important these events are to them.

The more we can see it through their eyes, the better parents we are.

As we start the home stretch of the holiday season, in your interaction with your children let two thoughts guide you:

1. See them as little people.
2. See life through their eyes.

Effective parenting is not just about learning new methods. It’s about seeing and responding to parenting situations differently. When we see our kids as little people and extend the same courtesy we do to others, our parenting becomes less about the battle for control and more about connecting with their hearts.

When we see life through their eyes, we start to understand their motives and desires. We see why they want what they want and can help them work out the best solution. We will use more wisdom in our parenting actions and have less conflict with more agreement and compliance. That is what we want to see eye to eye with the little people we have been entrusted with.

Think about using all the opportunities this busy season presents to practice treating your kids like little people and purposing to see life through their eyes. Watch parenting become easier as your family relationships grow stronger and deeper. And see your holiday season be more fun and rewarding!