So much to do, so little time…As I sit here in front of my computer, fueling myself with Monster and a large chocolate brownie, I begin to wonder how much of my anxiety is self-imposed, and how much comes from the “pressure” of the outside world.
The pull of all of life’s directions keeps us on our toes. Finding harmony in family life, personal goals, and community involvement is an everyday juggling act. Some days go better than others, and we are inspired by those moments when life’s tightrope walk tricks us into believing we can actually balance it all.
At times of inner chaos, I have found the act of self-forgiveness and giving [yours truly] grace, brings my life back to center. Taking that split second to actively acknowledge and absolve myself for missing the opportunity, for making a meal that was less than tasty, for being five minutes late in picking up my middle schooler from practice, this act of compassion gives me the release I need to move on with the knowledge doing it all is not only an illusion, but highly overrated.
One recent example stands out; I have been doing a lot of reading about God, faith and what may come after this life. This has prompted me to question some of the basic religious teachings I grew up steeped in, and those I have passed on to my children through our practice and tradition of Catholicism.
I understand and accept life as a learning process. In fact, I consider myself someone who continually seeks “the truth”, always open-minded to what this means. That being said, the conflict between my thoughts and feelings, and my outward actions was becoming an emotional struggle for me, one I could no longer ignore. I have finally given myself permission to take a step back, the gift of time to think through the value and direction of my faith journey as well as how I will model this for my children, since it is such an essential aspect of life. In the process of this step away, I won’t worry about my eternal fate as I continue to educate myself and contemplate my beliefs.
I have noticed people are much more forgiving and compassionate towards others then they are of themselves. Why is this? Who told us we weren’t worthy of receiving the gift of making a mistake, or looking for alternatives which may be more in tune with our inner dialogue?
Every day we wake up is God’s gift of a do over, or a do again. I urge you to practice a little self-forgiveness and compassion in your own life as we head into the beautiful new beginnings of spring.
I imagine you’ll be grateful you did, and maybe a little less anxious as well.
Kimberly Muench is a Flower Mound mother of five and author of “My Mothers Footprints: A story of Faith, Calm, Courage, Patience and Grace.” To see more of her work or to contact her, visit www.realifemom.com.
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